Parenting Tips from Surah Luqman
Parents have a very great responsibility when it comes to raising their children. It is the parents who are the primary source of guidance for their children and if parents do their part well, the chances of children growing up to better individuals increase substantially. In other words, it is the parents in their house that reform or change a particular society.
Islam gives great responsibility to the parents where in addition to providing for the children the parents have to work on forming their character on Islamic guidelines. Parents have to teach their children about what is wrong and what is right and how they can make their way through on the path of righteousness.
Although in a Muslim household Quran tutoring is utilized as a means of earning reward, however, the parents need to realize that it is much more than that and they can extract guidance and meanings from Quran regarding any situation they face in life. In addition to the other verses and Surahs of Quran, the one Surah that Muslim parents can use for getting parenting tips is Surah Luqman from Quran.
The lines below discuss the parenting tips a Muslim can learn from Surah Luqman, but before that a brief introduction of Hazrat Luqman (AS) for the sake of understanding.
Hazrat Luqman (AS):
Although Hazrat Luqman (AS) is not regarded as a Prophet, however, he is believed to be one of the believers and the wisest of men who was granted wisdom and knowledge by Allah. He is very few of the non-Prophet people who has had his name mentioned in Quran. Luqman (AS) was primarily a slave and a carepenter, however, because of his wisdom and intellect he rose to prominence. In Surah Luqman, Allah Almighty discusses the different advices that he gives to his son besides the other message in other ayahs of Quran as well. The lines below discuss the advices and how a Muslim parent should also adopt those advices.
Teach Them To Worship Allah Only:
It is the reposnibility of parents to tell their children about Islam. If the parents fail to perform this function, it means that the children do not have any foundation of Islam and when that foundation is lost, then they grow up to be anything else but Islam. Moreover, in Islamic teaching the most fundamental preaching of Islam which they should teach to the children is worshiping Allah Almighty only. Allah says of the advice that Luqman (RA) gave to his son in the following way:
“And (remember) when Luqman said to his son when he was advising him: “O my son! Join not in worship others with Allah. Verily! Joining others in worship with Allah is great Zulm (wrong) indeed.” (31:13)
By teaching the children about oneness of Allah the parents are not just teaching them about one aspect of Islam, rather it is the foundation of Islam. It is by believe in Allah that the children find truth and it is by this that parents can actually acknowledge to the children that they also adhere to the Supreme and in obeying Him they are the same as their children.
Tell Them The Place Of Parents:
Where there is responsibility of the parents involved in the parent-children relationship, at the same time the children are also supposed to respect their parents. This is not something that is hard to come naturally to the children once they grow old, therefore, the parents have to teach them about this aspect of their relationship at a young age. The parents need to tell the children about the status that Islam gives them and how children should behave with the parents. The same advice is what Luqman (AS) gave to his children in the following way as mentioned in Quran:
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother carried him, (increasing her) in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the (final) destination.” (31:14)
The advice of Luqman (AS) is the best parenting lesson that parents could receive. The parents need to tell their children that Islam has given them importance and respect and that children should treat them with it as well. However, the parents must not hold back the full ayah and tell the children that their duty to Allah is greater than their duty to parents, thus, if there comes a point in life where they have to chose between Allah and parents, the former should always be given preference. Moreover, in teaching children about respecting the parents, the parents should lead by example and demonstrate their teaching by respecting their own parents in front of children, so that they could see the preaching in practice as well.
Tell Them To Work Hard And Trust Allah:
Muslm parents face another challenge when they fail to teach their children the right way of pursuing life. They either teach the children about working hard, or they teach them to leave everything and rely on Allah only. Luqman (AS) gave a different advice to his son:
“O my son! If it be (anything) equal to the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Verily, Allah is Subtle (in bringing out that grain), Well-Aware (of its place).” (31:16)
Muslim parents need to teach their children to create a balance between working hard and trusting Allah Almighty. Both these factors are what need to be present in the life of a Muslim if he or she wishes to be successful. Failing to incorporate any of these in life results in life falling apart and a person getting frustrated and hopeless in life.
Tell Them To Be Good And Offer Prayers:
A Muslim parent also has the duty of teaching the path of righteousness to the children and making sure that children offer prayers regularly. The path of righteousness and the offering of Salah are two integral components of Islam. Muslim parents need to teach children that if one does not offer Salah and does good work only, then that goodness is but half useful and similarly if one offers Salah and does not do any good deed, then the Salah is less helpful for that person as well. Same is what Luqman (AS) said to his son:
“O my son! Establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, (all) that is of the matters (requiring) determination.” (31:17)
In short, Muslim parents have to teach their children about life and the Islamic way of living it. The parents are not free to let children do whatever they want, rather the children need to be told about the path of righteousness and the Islamic way of doing things, so that when they group and become independent individuals, they have a clear picture of what they believe in and how they are supposed to move on with their life.